Gloomy Days Ahead??? Part Deux

Everything I did was a success so why ever consider failure? I never considered not matching an option...until it happened. 


Rewind to Monday, March 12th. I wasn't stressing; I knew it was in the bag! In fact, all I had to do was check my email, and post on facebook a few seconds later. I'd already played it in my mind. So  I opened the annoyingly complex AUC webmail, and without blinking once my eyes stumbled directly on "we're sorry. you did not match" So I stared at defiance in the eyes. Smiled. Goliath vs Goliath. I can take this!!! 3 seconds later, I knew I was the weak one. In surrender, I texted Neye the bad news. Announcement = acknowledgement; I was realizing there was no turning back. The burn was irreversible. And only to frown further when I read her reply.
God has a way of doing things. He won't give you a load that's too heavy to bear. There's no way I could handle being the only one who didn't get a placement. Funny how she and I always had similar grades in class and we'd been partners-in-badluck with lack of interviews and all the like so if there was anyone to go through this ordeal with (not that I wanted to extend my ill luck to anyone), it was her.


In spite of everything, I kept cool. Deep down, I was beginning to feel the annoying truth catch up with  me: I've never failed a single course in my life. Instead I'd gotten away with skipping classes, procrastinating to study and partying on the day before my exams. Winning!!! I had cruised through Basic Sciences like it was nothing. And with Honors. Dropped the ball once in a while, but came out with a bang despite everything. Killed Step One, killed Step Two, killed what ever you felt like throwing at me. CS gave me a bit of a scare, but I killed that too. Bi-winning!!! I felt untouchable because all I did was win, win, win. 
Never once did I consider the possibility of not matching. After all, I'd had a near-perfect course through med school; it certainly wasn't at the final stop that I'd get stuck. Unfortunately for me, God had other plans. You see, God has the final say in every thing we do, and when we don't include him in our plans we cross him. My arrogance has led me to rely on my track record, and not on God, who had blessed me with all the success. And what does God do? He strikes you where you are most vulnerable-my precious little career. What better way to get your full attention!!!


But how can one recover from a pretty bad burn like this one? "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11
-->By God's grace, you will recover...in due course.


But why do I have suffer this bad? "But after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who calls you to share his eternal glory in union with Christ, will himself perfect you and give you firmness, strength and a sure foundation" 1 Peter 5:10. 
-->Because when we suffer, we cry unto God and his grace is made perfect in us as He rescues us. We'll have ups and downs for sure, but we can relax during hardships because we know God will grant us a better outcome.


Not getting placed into a Residency program hurts real bad. But I know God has a plan for me, and I trust him with every ounce of life in my being. I get sad sometimes, but mostly I'm grateful for my life. I have a place to stay (a palace matter-of-factly), food to eat, my loving family around me and most of all, no loans to pay back thank you Jesus!!! I also learnt a valuable lesson of humility. Everything we are and own is solely because of God. All the glory and praises belong to him.