The Grand Finale

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my aim is to finish the race and complete the task... (Acts 20: 24)

When I opened my eyes this morning, it was dark. Very dark. Yet I knew it was time to wake up because my alarm had gone off...twice. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Still very tired. And when I regained all my reasoning faculties-yes, fully functional alas-it struck me that today was only Tuesday. Wait a minute, Tuesday!!! I rolled over again, denying reality its fate. Refusing to get up, I re-adjusted my posture. Ignoring the tic-toc, louder by the second.


Yet I knew it was a lost cause. I could only linger for so long. And so I got up! Made it to the morning lecture at the hospital, and for the first time in a long time, heard my body yearn for that poison. Where is the caffeine? Body dragging, mind lagging and speech slurring...my worse nightmare. Where is the caffeine?


I'm so close...yet so tired. The hardest thing I'm yet to have done is bear a child, but for now med school comes close. I'm never turning the hands of time. Yet it went by so fast. Am I missing four years of my life? There goes the soon-to-be grad, still feeling like a UMBC senior. It still hasn't hit me; maybe that's why I don't get it. But now, I need to finish this race; I need my wing-man. I need the strongest coffee you've got coz I can't be late for my Grand Finale!!! 




End of med school: T minus 10 days...

CS off my Chest

You'll hear about the gruesome sieving process for med students. 1st, admission selections designed to favor only a pristine breed of the "survival of the fittest". Then an excruciating 2 years of classroom learning aka basic sciences (where Carib schools excel; thanks but no thanks for free tuition money, you didn't make the cut so we're kicking you out anyway). Honestly, American grads have it easy because their schools actually care about their "welfare"


In Carib schools, you're on your own! Not for the faint and weak-hearted! And if you took a good look at the guy to your right and left during your white coat ceremony, chances are those faces won't be there at your graduation. Heck, if you even make it to graduation.


Anyway, they added USMLE Step 1; then Step 2, which is now 2 separate exams-Clinical Knowledge (CK) and Clinical Sciences (CS), and then Step 3. As if the 2 year-Sahara of academia wasn't enough, you have to score Ninety-something percentiles on these board exams. Ok so forget the stress, what matters is someday, all of this will pay off. Right!!! 

So in order to qualify for the 2012 Match, you must take CS by Dec 30th 2011. This is where things get interesting-there are only 5 exam locations : LA, Atl, the Chi, Philly and H-town. And how many med students are there again? This year in the US alone, about 18,000. Add another 10,000 or so from the Carib and the rest of the world. This means a 2-3 month waiting line to take that test. 


Icing on the cake: CS results are reported in 3-month blocks so depending on your timing (as in mine), you may be waiting up to 3 months. I took my test in Philly late September, and I didn't feel confident about passing as I ran out of time. Despite the fact that the damn test cost me $1300 re-taking it was the least of my worries. Since there was no way of finding out until Dec 7th I only had till the 30th if God forbid, I had to re-take it. This obviously was extremely unlikely due to that waiting line. In order words, failing that test meant ruining my chances of getting a residency. So I got on my knees and I promised a few things if He answered my prayer.

Dec 7th came...lub dub lub dub (loud heart sounds). When I saw PASS on that screen, I jumped in the library like a crazy woman. God's love is truly an amazing thing to experience. So I've secured my place in the Match...although this doesn't mean I get a job. Whatevs; at least, I'm still in the running. Now, let's work on keeping some promises. 

Gloomy days ahead??? Part Uno

It always feels good to run into someone who follows my blog. Usually they have some good things to say (not that I can't handle criticism or anything like that). Who knows they might be withholding the not-so-nice things, but bottom line is it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.


So I haven't blogged for almost a couple of months now. Although there was a bit of a writer's block going on that wasn't exactly the main reason for the inactivity. Truth is I have been pre-occupied with this whole residency application thing. In fact, last week I received a survey from my soon-to-be alma mater. Due to an ongoing transition to a new buyer, perhaps they saw it fit to seek our opinion vis-a-vis their services. I nonchalantly clicked my way through the online device, knowing that this would be the only way to get them off my back. And as I got to the final question which inquired how likely I was to recommend my school to someone else, my mind couldn't help but wonder...


4 hardworking years finally coming to an end yet my overall perspective gloomier than ever.  After the final click on my ERAS application, I thought the gymnastics was over with. After all, getting those letters of recommendations had not been simple. Getting those Usmle scores mos def had not been easy. And the personal statement...the writing and re-writing and proof-reading...what a pain! I thought after undergoing this excruciating and extremely pricy process (yes, these applications aren't free) all I had to do was to sit back and relax. Watch the interviews fall in my lap? NOT!!! Instead I find myself 43 applications later almost bald from the stress of receiving massive rejection email. Ok can someone re-define a competitive candidate to me because I'm so confused right now? Whatever happened to having good Usmle scores? A bunch of my colleagues, all of them renowned 99ers yet barely getting any interviews. What is happening to our world today???


That's how I got to thinking. A few sleepless nights and then my lightbulb moment! Could it be that the perfect applicant is not only the American Grad but the guy without the Visa issue? I know this is already common knowledge; the difference is that contrary to popular belief, excellent scores can't rescue you anymore. This year, there's plenty of international applicants with near-perfect Usmle scores who are ripping their hair out of frustration; they aren't getting interviews. Ok I get it, we are in America so it makes sense to prioritize Americans. Fair enough. But the foreigners can't be completely be marginalized either because we work our asses off like everyone else. We got the same type of education (and may I say for almost twice the cost in undergrad) and I thought there was suppose to be a shortage of doctors anyway. So what's this really about? Is Homeland Security involved? Is this another means of "closing the border"?


Anyhoo, back to my interview issue. It's quite sad that things are taking a bad turn. Once upon a time, getting into med school and scoring high on the boards were adequate to obtain a residency. That's obviously not good enough nowadays. Add Green Card/Citizenship to the top of the list, and then we can start talking. Sounds like gloomy days ahead to me, but only time will tell I guess. 


To be continued...

The Serena's and Blair Waldorf's

Show me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are!!! When we moved to the island of St Maarten, most of us didn't know what to expect. Will I make it there? Will I fit in? It was like being a teenager over again.


I left everything behind. Moved to this island. And as I was eager to embark on this soon-to-be rocky ride (which I didn't know at the time) I have to admit that nothing else crossed my mind. I was busy obsessing about my future courses and professors. So it's hard to imagine how things turned out. Within weeks I had a handful of close girlfriends. I was hanging out, invited to dinners and had a buzzing skype. 


It felt nice not to study all the time. To have someone to eat with. Swap outfits. Have girl talk. Someone to even help you through the drama. Yeah, we girls tend to have drama. And that's the way we're wired!


So naturally, we had the Serena's and Blair Waldorf's. Best friends. Yet rivals! Who thrived off each other; couldn't be without the other. Girls who fought then laughed. Hurt each other then somehow managed to mend one another. It sounds so pathological, but isn't this life???
Med school was no different in the adult playground. The same old players... with the same old needs. Dying to be accepted.


We may never understand what drives human feelings. Maybe that's why they're still here. We all want to be loved by someone. Sometimes we're picky- we want our friends to be the cutest. Or the richest. The smartest. And often we're not picky at all. Bottom line is those needs have to be met, and while we set out doing that the people we choose tend to reflect who we are. Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are.


B EZ Breezy, My Covergirls...

BOOBS!!!

You love my breasts. He loves her breasts. They love our breasts. Even us love our breasts. It's always been a breast affair. Eve, Cleopatra, Esther and even our mothers. Breasts have ruled the world since the beginning of time.


Boobs. Tits. Tatas. Twins. Call them as you like, but breasts have empowered the female race. Enchanted alpha-males. And raised generations. The world needs mothers, daughters, sisters, wives. Accountants, lawyers, doctors, teachers and all of that. So save breasts!!!


Save the women with breast cancer. 1 out of 8 women in the US will develop invasive breast cancer in their lifetime. Perhaps more in other parts of the world. Let's find that 1 now! Let's make everyday October, and support our sisters (and brothers) touched by this cancer. We chant to their victory and march onto future successes. To this disease, we've lost a lot. And it's time to say ENOUGH!!!

Dedicated to all the brave women and their families who have or are fighting the good fight against breast cancer. I'm a 100% with you.

Greener Pastures

There's light at the end of the tunnel

Good things don't come by easily

So hold on to your dreams

And make them a reality

I used to dream in color 

I used to dream in pink

My ambitions never brisk

Always full of risks

I always aimed higher

Pushed the door further

Never feared to fail

Never followed the trail

And what's left to say
I've given my all yesterday

My utmost best today

Now I can only sit and wait... 
For Greener Pastures

Our Favorite Eateries

Med students eat...A LOT. Healthy vs unhealthy. Who cares when you're burning calories while mentally exercising? I lift weights with my mind, baybay!!!
Like most students nowadays, I was faced with a great challenge: 1) how to get ready-made food, and not necessarily fast food.2) how to get good food that won't put holes in my pocket. I'd already tried the mass-cooking during wknds and quick snack-making options, and they didn't work. I mean try adding an extra task to your already super-loaded 24hours. Good luck with that!!!
Although feeding oneself isn't exactly what some people'd consider extra, I prefered to indulge in the 21st century where food-making is rather optional or replaced by a fee in a convenient location called a restaurant. And plenty of restaurants we had on that island. Here's a list:
In general, the further you got away from campus the more affordable the places

1) Thai Savannah-Def one of my favs
Location: Atlantis Casino, Cupecoy
Mos def: Pad thai, pad ki mao, in fact, the whole menu, Pierre the awesome and overwhelmingly French waiter. When I walked in, they would all shout ''Anitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'' and start dancing. Loved those guys

Thai Savannah

2) Sugar Cane Cafe  (1st place I went to)

Location: Atlantis Casino, 3 min from campus

Mos def: good breakfast menu, cobb salad, super close to Mullet Bay so after a heavy meal, where else to experience your food coma?

3) Bibi's- Local restaurant
Location: 1 min from campus
Mos def: affordable prices and food that hit the spot (bbq ribs & mac salad, bbq chicken), live music from Dengue & the Fevers

4) Topper's
Location: Simpson Bay, 10 min from campus
Mos def: Best beef brisket!!!

Bamboo Bernie's

5) Bamboo Bernie's
Location: Maho Plaza, 5 min away
Mos def: Best sushi on the island, interesting decor, and located across from Tantra lounge, the place to be on Saturday night

6) Soprano's
Location: Maho Plaza
Mos def: great Italian food close to campus, more appropriate for dinner settings

7) 3 Palms Bar n Grill
Location: off the lagoon in Simpson Bay, 10 min away
Mos def: beautiful decor, delicious and affordable food

8) La Belle Epoque-another one of my favs
Location: Marina Port la Royale (Marigot), 20 min w/o traffic
Mos def: The bacon carbonara, pizza, the French atmosphere and beautiful beautiful location

9) Tijuana's Bar n Grill
Location: Simpson Bay, 10 min away
Mos def: great mexican food, friendly atmosphere to AUC students

10) Lottery Farms-perhaps my numero uno spot on ze island
Location: Pic Paradis, 25 min away
Mos def: with its setting in trees, it's like no other place you've ever seen; also ziplining and other outdoor activities on this 135 acre natural reserve, incredible food and music, and some good-looking bartenders. You had me at pic paradis!!!

11) Moulin Fou
Location: Maho, 5 min away
Never got the chance to eat there, but heard good things. Perhaps on the pricy side.

12) Pineapple Petes
Location: Simpson Bay, 10 min away
Mos def: The Fooooooooooood!!!

13) Abu Ghazi
Location: Simpson Bay, 10 min
Mos def: The best schwarma in town hands down!!! Located next to the movie theatre, so how about a movie & schwarma date?

14) Cappucino's
Location: Simpson Bay
Mos def: open 24/7, best food for ahem hang-overs

15) Waikiki Restaurant
Location: Orient Bay, 35 min away
Mos def: Can't find the words to describe how awesome this place is. Think St Tropez, David Gueta + some amazing food.

Waikiki beach

16) The Westin Dawn Beach Resort & Spa
Location: Oyster Pond, 45 min away
Mos def: One of the places I didn't visit, regretfully (on my to-do list when I return for graduation); Sunday brunches, I hear, are to die for.

17) Zee Best
Location: Simpson Bay, 10 min
Mos def: Best breakfast served on the island (fresh croissants and delicious omelettes).

18) Sarafina's Patisserie & Boulangerie
Location: Marigot, 20 min
Mos def: mmmmmmmm french pastry!!!

19) Lal's
Location: Simpson Bay, 7 min away
Mos def: The best butter chicken on the island!!! $12-lunch and dinner, taste so good makes you wanna slap yo mama. Heard they moved to another island. Sad, but you always have Pride of India, next in line for Indian cuisine.

20) Pizza Dan
Location: AUC campus, 0 min away
Mos def: did you really think I'd end w/o mentioning Pizza Dan, our lifesaver??? Had him on speed dial and skype, and for a Frenchman, he sure made some mean pizza.

The Westin

Who Were The Sisters???

I'll talk about The Sisters. The Girls: Care-bear and Nucci! The only girls waltzing around my class with Juicy Couture Daydreamer totes. 

All hail the sisters for their class. Nucci was the spoilt brat with the big heart. Daddy's little star. The girl with the shopping past-time. Yet the sweetest girl ever! Hell of a fashionista. Could have been a designer, but chose to be a Doctor.

Care bear, the 8th world wonder...so loving and tender. Our middle ground. The big sister I never had. Too patient, too caring, too rational. My friend. My role model.

Both were known for their fashion style. And their good manners. But most were intrigued by the insights. Were they really born in a royal palace? Rumors had it they were heiresses in a distant Igboland. The Nigerians Girls were ones to decipher. A complete mystery to their classmates. Never made it out to dinners. So I decided to bridge the gap. I was tired of waving at the LV bags so I introduced myself. We happened to be by a restaurant so we ordered Pad Thai. Or inferno chicken wings. The Girls were mad cool. And we were so similar. I became their study partner and melodrama. 

You see the Bride???

The Nigerian sisters. My sisters. A great deal of laughter we've shared. And a tsunami of frustrations. But with 3 big heads (and Nucci's forehead), nothing was too tough to bear. So we walked up the steep hills of Step misery, New York leases, life-threatening diagnoses and Visa mixes. It wasn't easy but we made it worth the journey.  

Cheers to Nucci and Care-bear...who are not twin sisters. And not from a royal family either. That was AUC gossip. Perhaps fabricated by me.

Don't be fooled by their looks...crooks!

PS this is NOT a Nigerian dating site. I don't have their numbers abeg!!! 

Dollar Value in The Classroom

Major topic of discussion - how do kids pay for med school? In my class, we have 3 populations:
Just like you'd expect, the majority of students mostly Americans, are on student loans. The borrowers! Then you have a small portion of students who pay out of pocket. The ballers!Usually from families of doctors. And then you have an even smaller subset, a handful of international students such as myself, known as the Foreigners! Not eligible for student loans based on the requirement for either US citizenship or Permanent Residency (the Green Card).
So how do Foreigners pay for med school? Family funds, friendly contributions or micro banking loans aka "njangis" from home. Pretty much any means one can think of as long as it's legit. Of course, not always consistent, and a pain in the ass when dealing with an angry landlord, a hungry stomach and costly exams.
And did I tell you EVERYTHING is expensive for med students nowadays? I noticed that prices qua-triple once people find out you're medically affiliated; kind of like a conspiracy. So am I a med student when it involves paying for a flu shot that I know is free for everyone else? Certainly NOT!!! I keep it on the DL.
But despite the regular tuition hikes and the surreal maneuvers to remain a soon-to-be Medical Grad (Amen to that), I must say it's worth it. And it's a privilege. We're all privileged - whether Foreigner, American, Baller or whatever - to work in one of the most honorable and prestigious professions. Unlike several others, we're lucky to have this opportunity so showing some gratitude once in a while isn't a bad idea. As for me, I never knew I would say this, but I believe the worst is behind me. Catch you on the flip side with my MD!!!

Carib Tunes

I compiled a list of songs that were popular in St Maarten. I recommend 1-3, definitely 5 & 11, 8, 12, 16 and 19. Get your fix; I do so every now and then!

1) Beenie Man - BAD GIRL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZogenVIv0E8
Def one of my favs

2) Serani - NO GAMES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiLYokfwgXY

3) Movado - SO SPECIAL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZxkFGyHbk

4) Fanny - ANCREE A TON POT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ffB1nia9xk

Very near and dear to my heart

5) Vybz Kartel ft Spice - RAMPING SHOP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoFi-J21jbs

This song will TURN UP THE HEAT!!! Proceed with caution!

6) Vybz Kartel - SUMMER TIME

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AYhQoy3YXU

7) Madcon - BEGGING YOU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfjMsiwH_60

8) Jessy Matador - DECALE GWADA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSjjqhQ_99g

9) Gyptian - HOLD YUH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKlCEUngHB0

10) Alison Hinds - ROLL IT GAL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV460ZOtsV4&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL4D87DCE7B3A573A7

11) Brick & Lace - LOVE IS WICKED

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNjO0Busqog&feature=fvwrel

12) Iyaz - REPLAY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXxV9g7lsFE&ob=av2e

13) Bob Sinclar - LOVE GENERATION

http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=3749007293184280625

15) Kid Cudi - DAY N NIGHT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSWrepLjTKc

16) Medhy Custos - MES DIVAS

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nylswu4OyXM

17) Perle Lama - EMMENE MOI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYb-jsWDAnY&NR=1

18) Ce' Cile - HOT LIKE WE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P4iyWIW8Yw&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AVGxdCwVVULXcys5VRhx0AMUWrUAQOvi4G

19)Mr Vegas - GALLIS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJUWDtrHiTE

20)Bob Sinclar - WORLD, HOLD ON

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzlE7w9wRQk&feature=related
By far, the song I danced to the most!!! Won't forget his concert at Bliss...fun memories!

There you go. Hard work putting this together, but it was worth it...just for you to savor.

AT

Travels within travels

St Maarten is beautiful...and so is the culture, the people and the lifestyle. But I still had venture out some. A little curiosity is good for the soul.

A)First stop - the island of Anguilla. We found about the "Seafood Festival", which was suppose to be a huge culinary event...or so we thought.

Anguilla 

B)I got to visit Riri's country-BARBADOS!
At this point, not sure what intrigued me
the most: the houses or why on earth these
people drove on the wrong side of the road? 

St John's, Antigua & Barbuda

Perhaps we didn't make it to the big event. However, we did have some pretty amazing seafood. Of course, I'm allergic to shellfish. So my classmates thought they could kill my spirits by shoving me some shrimp, lobster and crab meat. But when I pounced on the shark stew, I showed them WHO'S BOSS!!!

Barbados (RiRi)

C)Somehow I managed to make it to Antigua and Barbuda :)))))

Antigua & Barbuda

Turns out my flight from Barbados to St Maarten was cancelled. And what that means in the Caribbean is: we have no idea when you folks are going home, but we're working on it (welcome to the Carribiiiaaaaaaan, mahn!!!)

Since I had just finished my exams I could care less what was going on. In fact, I told them to take your time...as long as the hotel and food were on their tab.

D) Let me tell you about Pinel Island, which is a 5min boat ride from the French Cul-de-Sac (Cul de what???) So my med school PIC (partner in crime) and I decided to try the infamous bikini wax! Having heard the horror stories, there's no way I was going through that kind of torture in this 21st century so I was def gonna cheat. With vodka!!! We were both gonna do shots, and then our girlfriend would drive us to our appts. The perfect plan except I had already cheated another way: I shaved! Less hair to yank less the pain, yah? Right, but I had cleaned it out so well there was nothing left. I had to re-schedule. And so did my PIC, because she did the same thing lol. A bunch of cheats. We left disappointed or excited-I can't tell, but decidedly, we could still wear bikinis (I mean we were hairless!). So we found out about Pinel and headed there.

Pinel Island

What a beautiful place! What a beautiful Sunday!

During my last semester, some friends and I decided to explore the island. You have no idea what we found!

Don't I look happy

August Monday (Anguilla)

I made one last trip to Anguilla for their independence day- August Monday (1st Monday of  August). 

Amongst all my voyages, this must have been the best. Won't go into the details. I will, however, leave you with a taste of Caribbean sweetness. 

Be well, my friends!!!

Sint Maarten...

Philipsburg, St Maarten

Yes, this is where I went to med school.

And I loved every minute of it.

For the longest time, my friends thought it was a

prank lol.

How did I focus? Well, I sort of learnt what worked for me. If I had an incredibly strong urge to lay at the beach all day, I just took my books along. 

1st things 1st, some history:

St Maarten is a constituent country of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. It encompasses the southern half of Saint Martin island, while the northern half of the island constitutes the French overseas collectivity of St Martin 

Philipsburg

Its capital is Philipsburg. Before 10 October 2010, Sint Maarten was known as the Island Territory of Sint Maarten and was one of the five territories that made up the Netherland Antilles. Now Sint Maarten is a constituent country within the Kingdom of the Netherlands, making it a constitutional equal partner with the Netherlands proper. The population of the entire island is about 74,852 inhabitants, with 38,927 living on the Dutch side, and 35,925 on the French side. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sint_Maarten)

What I loved so much about Sxm was its explosion of cultures. A 37 sq miles island governed by two nations-the Netherlands and France. Residents from 70-some different countries. I felt right at home. What you got, French or English? Bring it!!! The French side reminded me so much of Cameroon: zouk love music, the "laisser-faire" attitude and sometimes, the food. And don't get me started on the food. Over 400 restaurants ranging from elegant French cuisine, Thai, Indian, sidewalk cafes, to American fast food.  What more can I say? The place was perfect!!!

Maho beach, Cupecoy

The Cupecoy beach, 5 minute walk away from campus. I came here to relieve the stress. The waves, the waves, the waves...

There was also a golf course nearby, which was to be "avoided by all means" after dark. Lol Silly Americans!!!

So where did I live? I'm sure you remember-in the dorm. Room B!!! I thought maybe you would understand where I came from if I showed you this:

The View (Pointe Pirouette)
Of course, no good thing last forever. Had to move out at the end of the semester to make room for the incoming freshmen. But guess what, my next place was even better,but that's another story.

It's official...omg

I dedicate this piece to my AUC classmates-the nerdy bunch!!! 
Jan 08-May 12

We were so happy to meet each other. LOL. Fellow Americans in far away land. Studying medicine in paradise. Shots to that!!! Just so you know, I never did shots until New Years Eve 2008. But this called for a celebration. We effing made it to medical school!!!
1st things 1st, when I arrived the campus I stopped for a minute...you know, to take it in. Oh surely I had died and gone to heaven...except, I must have pinched myself a million times. So beautiful, and I was going to study here for the next 18 months. No bad consolation for US rejection.
So I proceeded to my dorm. Turns out I was in the A room. No good because 1) my bathroom was separate from my room and 2) I had no view of the lagoon. Once again, the forces of the universe had conspired against me. And how my roommate had gotten lucky with the B room was probably by chance alone, yet I refused to bow to that fate. The advantage of being an early bird is that I could switch a few things with the roommate. But you see, I didn't only switch a few things around...I swapped our rooms!!! Ok calm down, it's not what you think. No cut-throat, sneaky business here; I simply went to the housing office, and explained to them that for (blablabla) reason I had to get the B room. I eventually met my roommate-perhaps one of the nicest people in my class. I often wondered what if she'd found out. Dude, she totally loved her A room.
Bit by bit, the campus filled with freshmen. Orientation-how to succeed in medical school: go to class everyday, study 4-5 hours after class, get a good night sleep 8hours minimum. Hold on a second, you lost me at 5 hours of studying. Yet little did we know that most of this was insanely indispensable for med school, and that some of us would find out the hard way. We were so naive, so happy, but it was ok. It was ok to sigh when orientation was finally over. And it was definitely ok to take shots after our white coat ceremony. Because that was like our honeymoon, which was about to end. It was the only time we would be together-all 81 of us, with the same spirit...let's start this and kick some butt! Yes, it was ok to be merry for little did we know that the following day we would start losing comrades...

Matriculation Jan08...Welcome to Medical Sciences

I must have been super pumped when I got that letter. I had already suffered a severe dose of senioritis and rejections to grad school. But it's like the more "nos" I got, the higher I aimed for. First I had applied for a Masters in Applied Molecular Biology...in my OWN school. Surely, UMBC would recognize my commitment to the community (Resident Assistant; Chem, Cell Biology & Genetics Tutor, blablabla). In fact, there was no way I wouldn't get it; this one was in the bag!!!

So you can imagine my distress when I was politely rejected. Had I known that someday I would be laughing at it, I would have scanned that letter. But seriously, my world came crashing down. A utopia now shattered...is no better expression of that moment captured.

But somehow, I survived that heart-breaking episode. To me, it was a conspiracy. To crush and destroy me. Yet it worked...but only for a minute. After crying my lungs out in my mentor's office, I decided it was time. All I had been doing was run away. Today a Masters in this, tomorrow research in that...I had been sabotaging my path to med school...because I was too afraid to fail. So afraid that I didn't even try to trail. Truth is I was traumatized! Studying for the MCAT 3 months. Taking the Kaplan course yet could never finish the damn test on time. When I saw a 24, I said this is it. No way I was ever going back.

So you can see why it took something as incredible as my alma mater denying a spot to even me, a strong candidate, to realize that I may run on for a long time, but as long as I didn't grab this by the balls it'd yield nothing. It took a lot of kleenex...but I did grab it...by the balls!!!

Before applying to med school, I had to face my demon. The devil named MCAT! There is no way I was going to re-take that test, so I told God: you either made me smart or you didn't. There must be someone out there who can look beyond this stupid test. If not, then I'll go home, get married, and make 10 babies. I don't think He liked the 2nd option too much.

My application process was straight-forward. I'd like to think of it as going to the mall with a specific objective: what shop to go and what shoes to buy. I knew my chances to get into an american school were slim due to my score so I protected my already fragile ego; I didn't even try. Maybe cowardice. I applied to AUC, SGU and Ross-all Caribbean. And left the rest to God.

Just 3 bloody schools. Now that I look back, what was I thinking? Maybe you can understand if you know the kind of faith that I do in God. Or the determination to succeed despite the odds. I had run out of money and out of steam; even if I wanted to, I couldn't have applied to more. What I had left were my lips and knees to tell God my feelings.

SGU offered me a year of Pre-Med, which would cost me over $20,000. Are you kidding me? Why not just apply for a Post-Bac in Georgetown? Ross just made me feel like a piece of meat. "Hey come on over for an interview. If not today, tomorrow, either way we'll be waiting" Just shady! And AUC kept losing my documents. I have 5 names, does that mean I need 5 separate files? In fact, I was giving up again.

Now you understand why I was super pumped when I got that letter...from AUC. In Aug 2007. Even though AUC was my top choice all along, it was because I believed and held steadfast to a dream that came to be. And just like that, the little girl from Yaounde was on her way to med school...

To God be the Glory,

Yours truly

Les Apparences Peuvent Etre Trompeuses

My name is Annie Tedga, and I am a 4th year med student from the American University of the Caribbean (AUC). I was on a bus from Philly (where I had just taken my CS exam) when I began pondering over a few things: what do I represent? Do people really know what I've been up to? Well, I happen to have a busy fcbk account, and sthg I've learnt is that what you see is what you get. Obviously, my fcbk account is highly geared at showing the glamorous side of me...the pics are photoshopped, the poems are edited and the friends are selected. This time I wanted to share the experience unplugged. The real me...raw and uncut!!!
So that's how I decided to start a blog. It would be about my journey through med school (since that's pretty much all I've done for the past 5 years). No more hide n seek with the financial problems-and there've been many. I'm gonna talk about my brutal living situations in New York, the scarce meals, how friends let me down and others took me in. How life can be a mess if you let it, and most especially, how God has always been there for me. I'm gonna spill all the beans!!!
I hope you enjoy my story, and give me the necessary feedback as I embark on this adventure.

Yours truly,

AT