I've never understood the concept of a journal, you know writing down every bit of event or feelings. Probably because I don't have the attention span for that. But the truth is that it takes a lot of guts to do that. Recounting the frustrations, jealousy, envy that you've felt. Admitting that you are not fulfilled in your relationships (or lack of) and that sometimes, you are not good as you seem can be really shitty.
Maybe that is why I hate going on facebook lately. Everyone is so happy...unlike me. Its either a new job, spouse, baby or a new life. Either way, its a new and good something, and its worth flaunting it in others faces. Facebook. The book of faces. Different faces. The good, the bad, the ugly!!!
But honestly, am I really whining? A few months ago, that was me. The glitz, the glamour, the happy me. Then, I lived on facebook.
When I was a child I wanted to grow up. Now that I am grown up I look back. This life is not easy, and this you appreciate when you are broke, sick, addicted, heartbroken, berieved, abandonned, cheated or discriminated upon. Yes, sometimes when you are happy too, but usually you are busy riding on your cloud 9.
Personally, 2012 has not been my year. There have been some moments of elation, but grossly, it's been gloomy. I don't remember the last time I had this many obstacles in my life. I dont know; it's just crazy! But really, what keeps me going is a number of things:
Firstly, life is made of ups and downs. A rough topography...with steep hills and valleys. We can only ride so high. Yet we learn to pick up the pieces. And prepare our ascent from the deepest pit. So I know things will get better.
Secondly, I write down events and feelings too. Its called blogging; it may not be as OCD as having a journal, but it definitely keeps me from blowing up. Admitting my problems is a bit like cleaning up the attic every so often. It makes you breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Plus, I'd rather do it myself than someone else, don't you think?
