Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow...One day I'll make it out

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Time to Check in (Part 1)



Whoever coined the phrase "time flies" was truly a visionary. It's been 3 months and 1 week since I officially became a pediatric resident. What can I say, my joy is complete but I'm not going to lie. Everyday hasn't been peach and that my life as a resident hasn't been a fairy tale. On the contrary, quite a few times I've regretted choosing this profession. Well, I swore to honesty when I started this blog; "raw and uncut" were the exact words. 
So far, I've complaint, sighed, wanted to punch some of my patients' parents and if I wasn't the tough girl that I am, I might have even cried a few times already. But as crazy as this sounds, I'm happier than ever. True, I've had some pretty rough moments in residency, but to be fair, this wasn't unexpected. Infact, all my predecessors had warned me about those moments when it's like a "dark cloud" falls over you. Those moments did come unfortunately. And more perhaps are yet to come. But I'm OK with that. I'm ok that it feels like I know nothing right now. I'm ok that there will be ups and downs. Most of all, I'm ok that I wake up the next day ready to take on a new challenge. This is who I was meant to be. I love it !!!

I looked back at my life 3 years ago. I was in Cameroon with one ambition: to come back to the US and train in a residency program. There were so many obstacles before me. There was a big ego to deal with. I was in such an emotional mess that I couldn't even gain weight (and I never pass on a meal). I really needed to change.  I'd always wanted to change (my attitude, my ways, my life) but I couldn't. Change is a difficult thing...but it's possible. I know this because it happened to me. Right before my eyes: complete transformation of my character, but before there was massive demolition of everything I once held on to. It was painful, very painful. I had "dark cloud" moments and asked myself why I ever picked this profession. And even then I didn't cry; I just tried to internalize what was happening and how on earth any of it was possible.
I wasn't too tough; wasn't too smart either. Just fortunate to meet a man, the only who could make this possible. I fell head over heels in love with this man and since then I changed forever. He goes by many names: Bright and Morning Star, Lily of the Valley, Rose of Sharon, Yeshua, Lion of Judah, El Shaddai, Jesus Christ and one of my favorites, Prince of Prince. He changed my life. It didn't happen immediately; it took time, time and time but look at me now. More than ever, I'm alive and I'm accomplishing my destiny. He can change yours too if you let him. He's standing at your door knocking. If you open the door, you'll meet a man who is so madly in love with you words can't express it. Please, open the door  =D

Yes, there will be tough times... but I can handle it. Nothing can steal my joy because my dream is turning into reality. I'm going to be a pediatrician!!!

KEEP CALM!!!
I'M GOING TO BE A PEDIATRICIAN

To God be the glory...

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