I must have been super pumped when I got that letter. I had already suffered a severe dose of senioritis and rejections to grad school. But it's like the more "nos" I got, the higher I aimed for. First I had applied for a Masters in Applied Molecular Biology...in my OWN school. Surely, UMBC would recognize my commitment to the community (Resident Assistant; Chem, Cell Biology & Genetics Tutor, blablabla). In fact, there was no way I wouldn't get it; this one was in the bag!!!
So you can imagine my distress when I was politely rejected. Had I known that someday I would be laughing at it, I would have scanned that letter. But seriously, my world came crashing down. A utopia now shattered...is no better expression of that moment captured.
But somehow, I survived that heart-breaking episode. To me, it was a conspiracy. To crush and destroy me. Yet it worked...but only for a minute. After crying my lungs out in my mentor's office, I decided it was time. All I had been doing was run away. Today a Masters in this, tomorrow research in that...I had been sabotaging my path to med school...because I was too afraid to fail. So afraid that I didn't even try to trail. Truth is I was traumatized! Studying for the MCAT 3 months. Taking the Kaplan course yet could never finish the damn test on time. When I saw a 24, I said this is it. No way I was ever going back.
So you can see why it took something as incredible as my alma mater denying a spot to even me, a strong candidate, to realize that I may run on for a long time, but as long as I didn't grab this by the balls it'd yield nothing. It took a lot of kleenex...but I did grab it...by the balls!!!
Before applying to med school, I had to face my demon. The devil named MCAT! There is no way I was going to re-take that test, so I told God: you either made me smart or you didn't. There must be someone out there who can look beyond this stupid test. If not, then I'll go home, get married, and make 10 babies. I don't think He liked the 2nd option too much.
My application process was straight-forward. I'd like to think of it as going to the mall with a specific objective: what shop to go and what shoes to buy. I knew my chances to get into an american school were slim due to my score so I protected my already fragile ego; I didn't even try. Maybe cowardice. I applied to AUC, SGU and Ross-all Caribbean. And left the rest to God.
Just 3 bloody schools. Now that I look back, what was I thinking? Maybe you can understand if you know the kind of faith that I do in God. Or the determination to succeed despite the odds. I had run out of money and out of steam; even if I wanted to, I couldn't have applied to more. What I had left were my lips and knees to tell God my feelings.
SGU offered me a year of Pre-Med, which would cost me over $20,000. Are you kidding me? Why not just apply for a Post-Bac in Georgetown? Ross just made me feel like a piece of meat. "Hey come on over for an interview. If not today, tomorrow, either way we'll be waiting" Just shady! And AUC kept losing my documents. I have 5 names, does that mean I need 5 separate files? In fact, I was giving up again.
Now you understand why I was super pumped when I got that letter...from AUC. In Aug 2007. Even though AUC was my top choice all along, it was because I believed and held steadfast to a dream that came to be. And just like that, the little girl from Yaounde was on her way to med school...
To God be the Glory,
Yours truly
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